Blog
2024
Redemption in Choosing Adoption
Written by a Hope’s Promise Birth Mom.
It’s funny how a little plus sign can cause so much terror, anger, worry, disappointment, and fear. That little plus sign in that little window would change my life. How in the world did something like this happen to me at age 39? I mean…. I felt closer to menopause than childbearing age… but there I was… PREGNANT.
I had accepted many years ago that I would never be a mom. I was just not meant to experience pregnancy and childbirth and that love and connection with a little human being. I was in so much shock and disbelief. What was I going to do?
The next several months were a maze of crazy emotions, tears, fear, anger, frustration, and so much more. There was a little life living inside of me and abortion was never an option for me. I also knew I wasn’t in a place where I felt prepared or able to provide a life that this little one deserved.
I decided to choose adoption. I knew it was a miracle that I was pregnant, and God had an amazing plan for this little life. I knew this little one was going to make someone’s dreams come true (little did I know that mine were coming true too).
I was referred to an amazing adoption organization called Hope’s Promise. I set up an appointment with my caseworker. I was so scared to show up to that first meeting. I didn’t want to be judged or made to feel like I was worthless. And that was the last thing I ever felt with this organization. My caseworker, MaryBeth, made me feel so at ease as she shared her own adoption story with me.
At this point, I had a very hard heart and was so angry and disappointed in myself. When I first met with MaryBeth I planned on a fully closed adoption. I was going to carry this baby to term and have MaryBeth or a nurse hand this baby over to the adoptive couple that I was still yet to choose. I didn’t want to meet them or talk to them.
Slowly, as I continued to meet with MaryBeth, and through prayers by the staff at Hope’s Promise, and prayers of my mom and a couple of close friends, my heart slowly started to soften. I finally had the opportunity to look through 28 photobooks of families who wanted to adopt. I knew the moment I read the story of Samuel and Mary that they were the ones God had planned to parent this little life inside of me.
As more time went on and after Samuel and Mary were told that I had chosen them, they reached out and asked Mary Beth if they could write to me. At this point, my heart was softening, and I was open to some communication with them. They wrote me an amazing letter and I decided to write back. We exchanged a few letters and I finally decided that I needed to be the one to hand this baby over to them after the birth. I also decided that I wanted to meet them before the baby was born so that the time in the hospital was not awkward. The first time we met, my decision was confirmed. Samuel and Mary were hoping for an open adoption but wanted to respect my wishes for a closed adoption. God continued to work in me and change my heart. It wasn’t long before I changed my mind and decided that I wanted to see how this little one looked as he/she grew up. I wanted to know his/her personality.
On November 14th, at exactly 40 weeks, I was admitted to the hospital to be induced. After 56 hours of labor, I ended up with pre-eclampsia and the baby’s heart rate started to drop drastically. My nurse quickly called in my doctor and told them we needed to do an emergency C-section. Had it not been for this nurse, the baby and I would not have made it. My nurse is my hero! She will always have a special place in my life and heart. The doctor finally listened to her and I was rushed into the OR.
At 8:21 am on November 16, my sweet baby boy, Lukas Alexander, was born. He had a small puncture in his lung, the cord was wrapped around his neck and he wasn’t breathing. They had to do CPR but he did take his first breath and that little cry was the cutest cry I have ever heard. He was 6lbs, 2oz, and 20 inches long. He was perfect!
Later that day after I spent some time with Lukas, Samuel and Mary joined us in my room and met their son for the first time. They have renamed him Cole Samuel, and I love it!
I will always be a part of their lives. The connection we have is so deep and heartfelt. They have opened their hearts to me. We are all extended family. We get to figure this out together and we get to love Cole fiercely.
When I found out I was pregnant I didn’t plan on ever sharing my story but I am now so proud of my decision and that I am part of this amazing story. I feel so lucky that God allowed me to be a part of this. He can redeem any story for GOOD!!! I have been blessed by so many in this journey. I love all the ways God allows me to be used in Cole’s story. I have made amazing, lifelong friends through this journey and continue to make more as God allows me to be used for HIS glory.
2024
Give to Potential
When Steve Kariithi and other Hope’s Promise staff visited Grace Anglican, a church partner in Sheridan, WY, they connected with Crystal Merriam, church member and founder of a nonprofit called Lagniappe.
2023
National Adoption Month
Creating Awareness and a Reason to Celebrate.
According to Adoption and Beyond, in 1984 President Reagan proclaimed the first National Adoption Week, but as states and cities began to celebrate and recognize the adoption, a week just wasn’t enough, which led to President Clinton establishing November as National Adoption Month.
National Adoption Month is an opportunity to raise awareness about adoption. Below is a list of ideas compiled from various sources on how we can not only raise awareness but also celebrate National Adoption Month.
- Share Your Story- If adoption has had an impact on your life in any way or you are a part of the adoption triad, sharing your story is vital and gives voice to the beautiful complexity of adoption.
- Read an Adoption Book- some of the Hope’s Promise staff favorites are:
- Adoption is Both – Elena Hall
- The Open Hearted Way to Open Adoption – Lori Holden
- The Connected Child and The Connected Parent – Dr. Karyn Purvis
- Raise Awareness on How to Adopt- If you know anyone interested in adoption, you can send them to the Hope’s Promise website to learn more.
- Support Foster Families- Some adoption stories begin with Foster Care. You can reach out to a foster family you know and provide a meal for them or offer your babysitting services.
- Hold a Drive- hold a gift card drive during the holiday season to give to Hope’s Promise Foster Families or donate new or slightly used items to the Foster Care Lending Closet at Hope’s Promise.
- Donate to an Adoption Charity: You can make a donation to Hope’s Promise to support our adoption program. At Hope’s Promise we do more than just provide adoption services to hopeful adoptive parents. We support birth parents through counseling services and provide monthly birth mom support groups as well as annual events to promote community. We also provide education and resources for adoptive parents. You can make a year-end gift to support Hope’s Promise by visiting HERE.
- Attend an Event: Every year Hope’s Promise holds exciting events to support its three life-changing programs: foster care, adoption, and orphan care. Learn more about our events HERE.
- Have a Get-together with Other Adoptive Parents: If you are an adoptive parent, one of the best things you can do is to surround yourself with other families that have shared experiences. We should never walk through life, or the experiences in it, alone.
- Share on social media- Sharing your heart for adoption makes a huge difference. If you don’t want to share your own adoptive story, or you don’t have one, follow Hope’s Promise on Facebook and Instagram and share our stories and posts.
- Share your adoption story at your church. Hope’s Promise has countless church partnerships, and they all begin with YOU sharing your heart for adoption and foster care with your pastor.
There are so many ways to celebrate the beauty of adoption. Together we can raise awareness!
2023
It’s time to make the Adoption Tax Credit refundable
We have good news from our friends at the National Council for Adoption! A bipartisan group of Senators and House Representatives have come together to re-introduce the Adoption Tax Credit Refundability Act, which would provide critical financial resources to families who are willing to open their hearts and their homes to a child in need.
This bill would ensure many more families are eligible for the tax credit, including lower-income families; and, allow all families to receive all the credit that they are eligible for, in full, so they have the resources they need to meet their child’s needs, and help their family thrive.
How to support this bill in five minutes or less:
Use our quick and easy advocacy tool to directly contact your members of Congress and ask them to sponsor the bill, and support its inclusion in any year-end tax legislation. We’ve already created the messages for you and the system will automatically match you to your Senators and House Rep.
That’s it, you’re done! Thank you for speaking up on behalf of children and adoptive families. Your voice matters.
2023
To Africa with Love
Column by Peggy Dover from the Rogue Valley Times
Lynn Leissler was the subject of a former column a few years back. She’s the wonder woman and close friend who has gladly accepted the challenges with the joys of raising her teenage granddaughter, Renee. Yes, Lynn possesses an impressive list of grandmotherly requisites; she knits, she sews, she quilts, she bakes—and all skillfully. She also reads voraciously.
Let’s just say at nearly 78 years old, Lynn might be considered beyond the stage of dealing with teen angst, prom dress shopping, and boyfriend troubles. The affection return Renee gives is well worth the investment.
Because she neither looks nor acts her age (however that’s supposed to look these days) this grandmother recently surpassed expectation by taking Renee on a mission trip to Kenya, Africa. I’m a witness as to just how many and prolonged were the challenges in preparation to leaving—everything seemed to work against them. Obtaining visas online was an exercise in humility; forget about patience. Taking the required shots and typhoid medicine made them ill, especially Renee. Despite navigating the potholes to get there and the ridiculous flight schedule with long layovers, they’re eager to return. I spoke with them about their incredible experience.
The program coordinating the effort is called Hope’s Promise. Various churches work with Hope’s Promise on behalf of bringing hope to children in the Kuza Project of Kenya—Kuza means light. They’re a faith-based organization who send teams of individuals to some of the most impoverished areas to work with neglected children and help them understand they matter. I asked Renee what she loved most about her experience.
“Meeting the kids,” was her quick reply. One thirteen-year-old boy in particular touched her soul. “He doesn’t have a lot. I asked him what his favorite thing to ever do was, and he said ‘praise the Lord.’ I said ‘what’s your second favorite thing to do?’ He answered, ‘help people who need things that I have.’”
Lynn explained the purpose. “It was a school break program, so, like a vacation Bible school type deal. The church there is facilitating a program that helps kids stay with their bio families, if possible. And if not, to be with non-relative caregivers to help them attend school—to care for them physically, emotionally, and spiritually and help these kids develop a sense of worth on their own, because they’ve had a lot of trauma in their lives.
They are westernized there and also proudly aware of being Kenyan. The children of Mathare watch movies that they believe represent the typical American family. It was quite an eye-opener for them to learn that our country shares the same issues, with dysfunctional homes, and less than ideal living conditions not uncommon. “We were careful to not go there as “White saviors,” Lynn said, ‘just to go there and walk alongside what they are doing.”
The small group visited the Mathare Valley Slum of Nairobi, where half a million people dwell within six square miles. They weren’t there to gawk and shake their heads. Renee explained. “We hung out with the kids. We sang, danced, and did art classes. There were singing and ukulele classes. Then we walked through the slum. We went into a couple peoples’ houses, which were small.”
“It’s a slum and it’s harsh, but there’s resiliency, determination, and joy,” Lynn said.
Those who escape the slum, though glad to be out, miss the community they shared. They no longer know and relate to their neighbors, but stay to themselves behind gated communities. Eight-foot cornflower blue iron gates surround neighborhoods.
The life-changing trip had a powerful impact on both of them and altered their perspectives. Renee’s least favorite part was saying goodbye. “I was a whole wreck.” She’s considering missions as a worthwhile investment for her future and that of the kids.
It was autumn there. The weather was cool and pleasant for the Oregonians, while Kenyans wore puff coats. Lynn added, “Kenyans are warm, friendly, welcoming people, and they smile a lot.”
Nana (sho-sho in Kenyan) and granddaughter made friendships and memories that will stand the test of time.