How do I know if I am pregnant?
Home pregnancy tests are a good way to determine the pregnancy, however, they can produce a “false” result when you really may be pregnant if not used at the proper time. Visit this website to see the optimal time to use a home pregnancy test to determine whether or not you are pregnant: http://www.webmd.com/baby/Home-Pregnancy-Tests
Where can I go for help, support, and resources?
There are many wonderful pregnancy centers that can provide loving and confidential care for you and your child. Visit the link below and choose Colorado for a complete listing of pregnancy centers which Hope’s Promise works with.
What are some of the early signs of pregnancy?
Check out this website to see some of the common early signs of pregnancy: http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/pregnancy/planning-pregnancy/signs-symptoms/pregnancy-symptoms
When am I due?
Use this website to calculate your approximate due date based on first date of your last period: http://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy-calendar/
Pregnancy: What should I expect?
Get a lot of helpful information at this website in order to help you prepare for pregnancy, labor and delivery. Types of questions answered on this website are:
• How will my body change during pregnancy (other than getting a larger belly)?
• Is abdominal cramping normal during pregnancy?
• What does labor feel like?
• What will delivery be like?
• What foods are good for my baby and which ones aren’t?”
http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/pnhec.asp
Can my drug and alcohol use have an effect on my baby?
If you have used drugs and alcohol during your pregnancy, these articles will give you some useful information as to the possible effects on your baby. Remember, regardless if you are 2 months into your pregnancy or 2 weeks from your due date, quitting now is better than not quitting at all. Even if you have used drugs and alcohol, Hope’s Promise can help you make an adoption plan for your unborn child – we have many waiting families who are ready to take on the blessing of parenting a child that may have been affected by drugs and/or alcohol.
Alcohol: http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/14332_1170.asp
Illicit drugs: http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/14332_1169.asp
Smoking: http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/14332_1171.asp
How can I get help to stop using alcohol or other drugs?
Sometimes, it is difficult for a woman to stop smoking, drinking or using drugs during pregnancy. These are organizations and websites that may be helpful for you:
• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) – listed in the white pages of phone books
Website: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org
• Partnership for a Drug-Free America: Getting help with drug addiction
Website: http://www.drugfree.org/intervention/gettinghelp/
• The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD)
1-800-NCA-CALL (1-800-622-2255)
Website: http://www.ncadd.org/
• Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator (by state)
Website: http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/
What will my pre-natal visits and hospital stay cost?
Having a baby costs more than you might think. Here is some useful information to help you calculate your pre-natal and hospital stay costs: http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/pregnancy/planning-pregnancy/financial-planning/cost-prenatal-care-delivery
How much money does it take to buy the essentials for a baby?
This website will help you by providing a list of baby essentials in the first year of life. You fill in the quantities and it will total up the expenses for you. If, after using this tool, you feel overwhelmed and need to talk to someone, please contact us at 1-800-294-3930 or 303-660-0277. http://www.teenageparent.org/english/costofbaby2B.html
Do I need to pay attention to my nutrition while I’m pregnant?
Yes! This website gives you some helpful guidelines in maintaining good nutrition while you’re pregnant: http://www.4woman.gov/pregnancy/pregnancy/eat.cfm
Is parenthood for me?
This article gives you some good questions to think through on your own or talk through with your partner in order to determine whether or not parenting is right for you right now. http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/preconception/gettingpregnant/7169.html
Considering an abortion?
Get accurate information on what happens medically during an abortion at various stages in pregnancy. Also, learn about the possible long term physical and emotional effects of abortion. If you are considering abortion, please consider all of your options and call us at 1-800-294-3930 or 303-660-0277 to discuss the option of adoption and parenting: http://www.optionline.org/abortion.html or http://www.ramahinternational.org/abortion.htm
Have you already had an abortion?
Sometimes, moms that have an abortion struggle with guilt, sadness, anger or any host of emotions and feelings. These emotions may change depending on the day or the minute during the day. Visit this website for helpful information on how to begin your journey of healing: http://www.ramahinternational.org/abortion.htm.
A helpful book for you might be, A Season to Heal: Help and hope for those working through post-abortion stress, by Luci Freed and Penny Salazar.
Am I eligible for government assistance?
You may be eligible to receive government assistance while you are pregnant. Visit www.GovBenefits.gov and type the name of the particular program that want more information about in the search box at the top right corner of the home page. These links will give you more information, office locations and eligibility requirements. Some government programs available to pregnant mothers include:
• Colorado WIC (Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children).
• Colorado Medicaid. Medicaid is a program that pays for health insurance for some Coloradans who can not afford it.
• Child Health Plan Plus (CHP+) is a low-cost health insurance program for uninsured Colorado children ages 18 and under whose families earn or own too much to qualify for Medicaid but cannot afford private insurance.
• Colorado Works or TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families). Colorado Works – known as TANF – provides cash assistance for very low-income families, and women
who are at least six months pregnant. The amount of financial aid provided is based on family size, income, resources and ages of the children, starting from the date the
application is received.
• Food Stamps. The Colorado State Food Stamps Program assists low-income individuals and families who need assistance purchasing food.
• Colorado Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program. LEAP is a Federally funded program administered by the Colorado Department of Human Services. Energy Outreach Colorado (EOC) also provides some of the funding for LEAP. LEAP is designed to help with your winter heating costs.
How do I contact my county Department of Social Services?
Most information for government assistance programs is available through your county’s Department of Social Services. Click here to find your county’s DSS office: http://www.cdhs.state.co.us/servicebycounty.htm
When I place my child in my chosen adoptive parents’ arms, I want it to be meaningful and special. How do I do this?
An entrustment ceremony is a unique ceremony where the parental role is transferred from the birthparents to the adoptive parents. It can be done anytime after the baby is born. Visit this website to get helpful information on how to create your own entrustment ceremony: www.birthmombuds.com/entrustment_ceremonies.htm
I want to get connected with other birth mothers . . . how do I do this?
This website is useful for helping you connect with other birthmothers as well as giving you lots of information on what it is like to be a birthmother: www.birthmombuds.com. You can also call 1-800-294-3930 or 303-660-0277 and a pregnancy counselor will help you get in touch with a birthmother who has worked with Hope’s Promise to place a child with an adoptive family. This relationship can be an invaluable resource for you!
Book resources for birth mothers and fathers:
• The Third Choice: A woman’s guide to placing a child for adoption, by Leslie Foge and Gail
Mosconi. This book provides some solid advice about adoption, inteneded primarily to
help a pregnant woman think through the possibility of allowing another family to adopt
her child.
• Pregnant? Adoption is an Option, by Jeanne Warren Lindsay. This book helps pregnant women think through the options of parenting and adoption.
• What to Expect When You’re Expecting, by Arlene Eisenberg, Heide Murkoff, and Sandee Hathaway. The pregnancy guide that reassuringly answers the concerns of mothers- and fathers-to-be, from the planning stage through postpartum.
Book resources for birth grandparents:
• Parents, Pregnant Teens and the Adoption Option: Help for Families, by Jeanne Warren Lindsay. In her book, Jeanne helps parents cope with the shock of a daughter’s teen pregnancy and
helps parents understand how much their child needs support during this time. Jeanne also helps birth grandparents deal with their own grief and the grief of the child.
• My Child is a Mother, by Mary Stepheonson. In her book, Mary shares a story of open adoption from the viewpoint of a birth grandmother. The adjustments of the entire birth
family are truthfully discussed.
• Bittersweet, by Gay Lewis. This book tells the story of a Christian family who faced difficult choices and decisions working through their daughter’s unplanned pregnancy.
• Between Parent and Teenager, by H. Genilt. This book can serve as an aid for more effective communication within a family.
• Mom, I’m Pregnant, by Bev O’Brien. This book is written by the mother of a pregnant teenager and details her struggle with her teen daughter’s unplanned pregnancy.
Poems and Songs for Birth Parents:
• “From God’s Arms to Mine to Yours” a song by Michael McLean
With so many wrong decisions
in my past, I’m not quite sure
if I can ever hope to trust
my judgment anymore.
But lately I’ve been thinking,
‘cause it’s all I’ve had to do.
And in my heart I feel that
I should give this child to you.
(CHORUS)
And maybe you can tell your baby,
when you love him so,
that he’s been loved before;
By someone who delivered your son
from God’s arms, to my arms, to yours.
If you choose to tell him,
And if he wants to know,
How the one who gave him life
could bear to let him go;
Just tell him there were sleepless nights;
I prayed and paced the floors
And I knew the only peace I’d find
is if this child was yours
(CHORUS)
Now I know that you don’t have to do this,
but could you kiss him once for me
The first time that he ties his shoes,
Or falls and skins his knee?
And could you hold him twice as long
when he makes his mistakes
And tell him that he’s not alone,
sometimes that’s all it takes.
I know how much he’ll ache.
This may not be the answer
for another girl like me;
But I’m not on a soapbox
saying how we all should be.
I’m just trusting in my feelings
and I’m trusting God above,
And I’m trusting you can give this baby
both his mothers’ love.
(CHORUS)
• “Everything to Me,” a song by Mark Schultz
I must have felt your tears
when they took me from your arms
I’m sure I must have heard you say goodbye
lonely and afraid had you made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried?
But you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night
You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon and praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me
And if I saw you on the street
would you know that it was me?
and would your eyes be blue or green like mine?
Would we share a warm embrace?
Would you know me in your heart?
Or would you smile and let me walk on by,
knowing you had dreams for me?
You wanted the best for me
and I hope that you’d be proud of who I am
You gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams
and a chance to fall in love
You should have seen her shining face
on our wedding day
Oh is this the dream you had in mind?
When you gave me up
you gave everything to me
And when I see you there
watching from heaven’s gates
Into your arms
I’m gonna run
And when you look in my eyes
you can see my whole life
see who I was
and who I’ve become
• “The Legacy of an Adopted Child,” a poem by Brenda Romanchik
Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.
As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give you all you needed after your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.
One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.
They looked into each other’s eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your Brithmom loved and cared for you.
They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.
So now you have two families,
One by birth, the other by adoption.
And you have a home where you can get:
your questions answered,
your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed,
and much needed hugs.
And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions,
your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself,
and much needed hugs.
Two different kinds of families
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you.
